Bah Humbug! It's December, again - 10 more days to go

Countdown

No, not the show, the NASA sort - where you start at 10, count backwards to one, and when you reach zero, you shout, "blast off!".

Except, in this case, it's "Ho, Ho, Ho! Where are my Christmas presents?" or mutterings of a similar ilk.

I am not in the mood for counting down. Somehow, in spite of the best efforts of pest control to fog the condo, they seem to have left a few mosquitoes about. One sneaked its malevolent way into my room last night.

And, so, at 2.30 am, I found myself staring at a large mosquito bite in the middle of my forehead and a hand that stung so much from itching.

There's not much you can do after that. You lie awake, listening, waiting for that whirring hum, waiting to switch the light back on and smack the bloodsucking beast. You would think that greedy mosquitoes are easier to lay to rest than Dracula. Not so. And, I really should stop reading Dracula before I sleep, I dreamt again of bats at my window.

Incidentally, I did check my neck. As luck would have it, the mosquito was not of vampire origin, and if there were any bats outside the window, they did not manage to infiltrate.

Unsurprisingly, this morning, when woken by my youngest son's iPhone-that-used-to-belong-to-Mum-but-is-now-not-used-because-he-is-using-a-Samsung alarm blasted out like a fog horn at 6 am, I found myself walking around as if I was on the road to morphing into a Nosferatu.

Even the supermarket lady commented to me: "Good morning Ma'am. Oh, so tired, again."

I must look like a reject from iZombie or something.

I was in such a state of zombification this morning, that I found myself singing along to BoneyM, in my head of course. Now I have that infernal song in my brain.

Cursing my poor luck, that there was no sliced bread on the shelves - the man was removing the loaves rather than putting them out. It felt like I was watching a movie in reverse. Cursing my poor luck that the offers had expired on a couple of items. Cursing my luck that a more comatose woman shoved her basket into me and I knocked a couple of items off a display stand in order to avoid being hit for a second time. I then found myself in front of a shelf of Calisson d'Aix, du Roi Renée.

I stopped. I stood. I stared. Rather Caesar (Veni, Vidi, Vici) in a way. Was I in a trance, was I dreaming? For years, I have craved these delicacies of my youth and life in Aix-en-Provence in the South of France. It made me nostalgic. It made me yearn for a return to that outdoor life, and made me sad that my French mum passed away earlier this year.

And, as I sit happily munching on my French bonbons, here is the next Bah Humbug installment of ...

DOWN THE CHIMNEY ©

We all looked up the chimney stack,

And spied a large brown sack,

A pair of boots and a red coat,

All covered in black smoke.

I knew my presents were up there,

With Santa in mid-air.

I wondered how we’d get them down,

And Dad began to frown.

Bah Humbug, who cares if my teeth fall out.