BAH HUMBUG. It's December again - only one more day to go!

Bah Humbug, it's 24th December, Christmas Eve, again.

And just like last year, my post will probably take most of the day.

All the advent calendar chocolates have been devoured, even before breakfast - where did 'no sweets before lunch' go?

Never mind, I have other things on my mind like Shakespeare (he never wrote anything about Christmas - maybe he was a bit of a bah humbug too?). He does mention Christmas in Hamlet, but Hamlet is a tragedy and Twelfth Night refers to the twelfth day after Christmas, but I never got that much of a sense of Christmas from the play - a cross-dressing love triangle.

Maybe the Bard and I have more in common than I thought?

Or maybe not.

Which brings me back to the topic of Christmas presents and chimneys and Father Christmas.

Similar to last year, we have no chimney - who needs a fire in their home in Singapore? so I suppose Santa will have to come in through the front door or downstairs, or not at all. When I was younger, my parents would tell me that unless I tidied my bedroom up (and that included everything I had hidden under the bed), then Father Christmas would not visit because he did not like children with messy rooms.

That was probably the only time of the year my toys got a clear out.

Now it's a case of getting my children off the computer or whatever screen, or dropping whatever game they are playing thundering up and downstairs with swords and other weapons.

Stairs are extremely good for exercise, so I cannot really complain.


In recognition of chimney challenges, I have dug out my Christmas ditty from last year - maybe I shall get back to it before the day is out and finally complete it. Then next year I may just get around to illustrating it.

Down the chimney   

It’s Christmas Day, without the gifts,

Did Santa get our lists?

Dad said, ‘It’s cold, I’ll get a log,

While mother feeds the dog.’

I looked around the Christmas tree,

In search of gifts for me,

My brother searched with all his might,

There was nothing there in sight.

We eyed the mince pies on the plate,

To check if he had ate

A bite, or drunk a glass of milk,

Or if it was all just bilk.

The white moustache upon Dad’s lip,

Betrayed more than a sip,

And hard to hide the mince pie crumbs,

That sat all over mum’s.

Dad lit the logs sat in the grate,

And told us all to wait.

The chimney smoked and then it coughed

An ‘ouch’ came from aloft.

Dad stuck his head up in the chute,

And uttered a loud hoot,

‘I do believe old Santa’s stuck,’

My brother said, ‘What luck.’

‘Oh Dad,’ said Mum, ‘don’t take the mick,

That can’t be old St Nick,

That chimney’s such a boring chore,

He’ll come in by the door.’

I didn’t care where Santa was,

The why’s or where’s, because

All I wanted were my toys,

Instead of chimney noise.

The chimney spat out clouds of smoke,

It made me want to choke,

So off Mum shuffled to the door,

Then cried out, ‘Saints galore!’

The door was bolted shut, quite tight,

It had been like that all night.

Dad said, ‘I hate to disappoint,

But I think I have a point.’

We all looked up the chimney stack,

And spied a large brown sack,

A pair of boots and a red coat,

All covered in black smoke.

I knew my presents were up there,

With Santa in mid-air.

I wondered how we’d get them down,

And Dad began to frown.

My brother found a cricket bat,

Mum said, ‘You can’t use that.

Let’s face it Santa’s squeezed in tight,

He’s been there half the night.’

'But I want to open all my toys,'

I said with grace and poise,

'There must be something we can do,

To release him from the flue.'

My mum just shook her head and sighed,

'He's really lodged right up inside,

I think his rather largish tum,

Has far surpassed his bum'

My Dad then had a strange idea,

To bring some Christmas cheer,

We'd pull the sack with a large hook,

And dislodge it from the nook.

My brother went to fetch a stool,

To reach the poor old fool,

While mother clapped her hands with glee

And went to make some tea.

Dad tugged and tugged at Santa’s cape,

To help old Nick escape,

But the cloth just ripped off in his hand,

Not really quite as planned.

We heard a rumble from up above,

And Santa gave a shove,

But all that fell was one black boot

And a shopping bag of fruit.

Where did the fruit come from? 

That will be for Christmas Day ...

Bah Humbug.

Bah Humbug. It's December again - only 8 more days to go

Bah Humbug, it's 17th December. Doing my sums, and that's "maths" not math as maths is the short form of mathematics (please remember that if you live on the other side of the pond), then I have one week and one day - eight days!

Meanwhile, at school my eldest son's class is holding a secret Santa.

This struck me as strange for a group of 14 year-olds (my 12 year old said they weren't planning anything). He had to purchase a gift of between $5-$10. So yesterday, we went to the toy shop and he picked up two small pieces of Lego. Fair enough, I thought.

He folded the plastic bag around the toys and declared that task done and dusted.

'But you need to gift wrap it,' I protested.

'No, I don't, there's a bag around it,' he retorted.

'But it's Christmas and you can see through the bag,' I countered.

'Bah Humbug,' he sorted.

Last night, like some furtive elf, after he had gone upstairs to bed, I pulled out the wrapping paper and wrapped the gift.

How on earth could he contribute to a secret Santa when his gift was not secret?

That got me thinking about why we gift wrap presents. After all, to the bah humbug or more eco-conscious amongst us, it is a waste of paper and superfluous.

So, I delved into this. One of my pupils told me the joy of having a present wrapped is partly in being able to rip the paper off. She then admitted that one of her friends removes the paper carefully so it can be reused and that her grandmother used to keep the paper to reline drawers.

An extremely practical use for wrapping paper.

But what drives us to wrap presents?

Some reasons I found are:

- To create a festive feel (after all it is not just at Christmas we wrap gifts).

- Wrapping hides what the gift actually is, leaving an element of surprise or anticipation (and let down when we open it) - my son should take note of this.

- Shimmering wrapping makes the gift look good.

Obviously, there is a great deal of deep rooted psychology at play. Dr Daniel Howard, professor of marketing at the Southern Methodist University in Dallas published a study on the psychological effects of gift wrapping in 1992, (Guardian Newspaper, 20 December 2010), his comment was: 'Gift wrapping, through repeated pairing with joyous events in people's lives, has utility in cuing [sic] a happy mood which, in turn, positively biases attitudes.'

So gift wrap makes us smile.

But where did it all start?

Giving gifts was not just invented for Christmas. I expect even cavemen gave gifts when they returned home with a woolly mammoth.

The Roman festivals of Saturnalia, the winter solstice (I will have to explain those in another post), were a time of gift giving and in turn, the idea became associated with Christmas and the Three Wise Men. Although, in early Christianity, gift giving was discouraged - after all it was a pagan tradition.

We have the middle ages to thank, and the legend of St. Nicholas and possibly St. Swithun to thank for helping to make the giving of gifts part of the celebrations.


With the invention of paper (China 105 AD) gifts began to be wrapped. Given that the secret of how to make paper did not reach Europe until around 1000 AD, European gifts were probably wrapped in leaves or animal skin. (That's my comment ;) )

What is certain is that wrapping up gifts and items was a tradition of shopkeepers and retailers who used to wrap the packages in brown paper and tie them with that rough string that feels like hessian. This was to make it easier for shoppers to carry their purchases home.

Decorated paper was not easy to produce, and it took developments in the printing process to allow colour to be included at the end of 19th Century. However, the paper was very thick - rather like wallpaper, in fact wallpaper was often used to wrap gifts, until people became frustrated with it cracking and splitting all the time.

Tissue paper was used instead. It still is used today to pre-wrap delicate items. But one day in 1917 the tissue paper ran out in the Hall Brother's store in Kansas City. Rollie Hall, the owner, it is claimed had an idea and brought out sheets of decorative envelope liners. He sold then at 10c a piece. Within a couple of years, this decorated paper became extremely popular and Hallmark entered the gift-wrapping business.

Now most stores offer gift wrapping services and some people make a business out of it. So there is absolutely no excuse why anyone should not wrap their Christmas gift.


Whatever the origins, whatever the reasons, the act of gift wrapping keeps your gift secret and creates wonder and surprise when piles of brightly coloured boxes and shapes are piled under the tree.

As my eldest son remarked today: 'Well, the Christmas tree exploded gifts last night I see.'

BAH HUMBUG

Make sure you wrap your gifts.

Bah Humbug. It's December again - 19 Days until Christmas

Bah Humbug, it's 6th December, and we have reached the weekend. Where did the week go? 

There are too many stupid distractions when it isn't Christmas, and now Christmas fever is hitting our overly commercialised minds, there are even more. I really need a brain the size of the Universe to stuff everything in.

After the regular Christmas tree light upgrade, the decorating of the tree - oh whoops, I have another whole box I overlooked - I actually got the Christmas cards written - an old-fashioned custom of getting in touch with people that you have probably forgotten throughout the year - and posted. Important that they were posted yesterday as Singapore has decided not to handle post on a Saturday while at the same time increasing the cost of postage.

Is it my imagination or has the cost of living, and more especially Christmas increased this year? I mean, $20 for a box of cherries in the supermarket and not much cheaper in the wet market (fruit & veg).

All of which leads me on to the wise words of wisdom of my teenage son who is fast rejecting the commercialisation and sensationalising of festive occasions - that should be respected for what they were originally meant to represent. He has suggested a budget of $50 per gift, per person this year. I am not sure that will necessarily be achieved, nevertheless, it will leave my pocket with less holes and the pockets of retailers and large manufacturers less fat.

As for me, I have decided to make my own gifts, and support independent - indie - bookstores and creators. So I shall buy books and purchase gifts, where possible, from smaller creators of useful items or organisations that need people to support them.

So, for anyone looking for some great gift ideas, books for kids and other cool stuff, take a look at the latest: Eric and the Volcano on Etsy:

Save some money this year and support small and local businesses.

Say:
BAH HUMBUG
To the big guys.

Bah Humbug. It's December again - 20 days until Christmas

Bah Humbug, it's 5th December, and this year a Friday. 

I haven't sent out the Christmas cards - still - actually I haven't even written them, but then again no one seems to bother these days. A sad tradition lost. 

Old Christmas cards were particularly useful - you could recycle them as gift tags, props for an uneven desk leg or chair, folded up they make excellent door stops, even drink coasters. 

Maybe I should write a book on the revival of the recyclable Christmas card? 

20 days to go? Did I mention that already?

I haven't even sorted out Christmas gifts. Then there's food and who to invite.

As I start my morning in a ponder, I look up and see what Santa must see in quadruple or however many reindeer pull his sleigh, a fluffy reindeer butt.

The mere sight of it, really just is not quite right. No wonder Santa sings out, 'Ho, ho, ho!'

I wonder if they painted a butt on the back of the Virgin Traindeer?

BAH HUMBUG

No More Days to Christmas - Bah Humbug

Bah Humbug, it's 25th December - that means it really is Christmas Day. It also means it is the FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS.

Yes, Christmas Day is the first day of the 12 days of Christmas that lead up to Epiphany. Everything leading up to Christmas was ADVENT - hello! That's why we have advent calendars, although, most parents and children seem to have forgotten what they are really for and just want the chocolate and unrelated picture inside.

If you go back to my earlier post on buying reduce-priced advent calendars you'll know what I mean! The twenty-first day before Christmas

"So this is Christmas," to coin a phrase from John Lennon. And while war is not over, sadly, there was also another war going on in my poor head - sleep and risk forgetting or just get up and do it now?

The good job was that Santa-Mum had an inbuilt - gosh I nearly forgot - alarm clock. It woke me up at 2am so that I did not leave the big gift in the store-room! 

Now I positively, absolutely, ridiculously need to get some more sleep. I look more like Halloween than Christmas ;)

It's only 7 o'clock, 

please, please go back to sleep. 

I just want one more hour, 

They're gifts, go have a peep,

I get up very early

On any other day,

I know I have to cook 

The lunch and stuff today,

But one more little hour,

And then I'll have my shower.

Whoops, it's the turkey, not the day you stuff 

Bah Humbug - I've been tricked of my sleep - which reminds me, mint humbugs (which incidentally, have nothing to do with the real meaning of humbug), are the most disgusting sweet ever and although it pains me that their sales are in decline, I am not pining. - Ha, ha, pining, pine tree - ah never mind, Bah Humbug.

And for those of you fed up with turkey, sausages, hams and whatever else you stuffed your faces with, now for:

THE 12 VEG OF CHRISTMAS

The first veg of Christmas, my true love sent to me,

A parsnip in a pear tree.