Showing posts with label Christmas Tree. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christmas Tree. Show all posts

Sunday, 25 December 2016

Bah Humbug - it's Christmas Day

Bah Humbug!

It's Christmas Day and ...


I came downstairs and where were the presents? The space under the tree was bare.

What just happened?

I rubbed my eyes.

Still no gifts.

So much for all the wrapping and piling them up under the tree.


They'd disappeared into thin air.

Then, I heard a snigger.


And, there it was.

On top of the piano, where Santa's half eaten mince pie normally sat, and Rudolph usually left a half-eaten carrot.

The gifts had been Grinched.

This was a real Bah Humbug.

More later ...




Saturday, 24 December 2016

Bah Humbug - It's December again! I've run out of days, and time to write

Oh Bah Humbug. It's Christmas Eve - only just.

Now I've run out of days and time. Tomorrow will be upon us rather soon. Too soon for my liking. And I have not written a Christmassy rhyme.

I have defrosted the turkey, and thought about cooking tomorrow. And that perhaps I might have to take a nap after lunch as eating turkey makes you sleepy.

Which reminds me, Google Translate - you really are quite something when you translate Turkey as Les pays de Dinde. I am still not quite sure what to make of that.

Back to the impending arrival of Christmas Day, which as I write this has already happened in New Zealand. There are photos to prove that Santa has been there already.

It's been raining heavily here, so I hope he has wet-weather tyres and an effective set of anti-lock brakes on his sleigh.



Meanwhile, Santa's elves have finished wrapping the gifts, so I had to take a photo of the tree, with gifts sitting around it.

It made the tree look less ...

well ...

less austere, and more decadent.

Amazing what a pile of Christmas wrapped empty cardboard boxes can do for a tree.

And so, dinner out of the way, we became Scandinavian.

In a time honoured tradition, that involves opening gifts early, just in case the Vikings turn up, we all opened a gift, or two before midnight. It takes the edge of having to wait until the morning.

Some Lego, a t-shirt emblazoned with sarcasm, a book of Spanish curses, a book about Artificial Intelligence, which made me wonder whether the tree had any feelings, and, a gift, I was not allowed to leave until morning - Dr Marten's boots.

I tried them on.

I'd never had Dr Marten's boots before.

Now I felt young.

And they so go with the pink shorts I am wearing.

I was tempted to go to sleep in them, as they are rather comfortable ... it reminded me of the first pair of trainers that the boys' step dad bought our youngest son. He wore them to bed. They were special.

I thought about wearing my boots to bed again. And then the cat jumped in the Doc Marten's shoe box.

Bah Humbug, I shall have to write something more Christmassy and pudding-like tomorrow.



Monday, 12 December 2016

Bah Humbug - It's December again! 13 days to go!

Monday 12th December.

One of those days when I had to use my brain. My assignment was due in by noon, UK time. No time for Christmas today.

What I did need to do, however, was to chase up on my oven that was not working, but should have been working. Still at the back of my mind was that niggling feeling that we might just be ordering pizza for lunch on Christmas Day.

Not much to say today, so I shall post a photograph of Santa decorating a tree that is decidedly miniature, next to an old telephone, that is fake.

Lots of fake around this year.

Bah flipping fake Humbug ...


Tuesday, 6 December 2016

Bah Humbug - It's December again! 19 days to go!

Tuesday 6th December. And, I still haven't written a single Christmas card.

I think I must have felt extremely grumpy this morning. I lined up Are You Grumpy Santa? to read with my primary student in the afternoon.

She was not overly impressed.

She had not chosen this book last week. But then again, I believe I omitted to give her the option.

So, she was not overly impressed, until she opened the book and saw Santa fall out of bed, have a cold shower, the elves shrink his best Santa suit in the dryer - so he had to wear the itchy woolly one, and then his reindeer got snowed under.



The mood changed.

Amazing how the excitement and magic of Christmas permeate young children and infects adults. I think I had forgotten, what with my Austerity- and Alt-Christmas trees, and two teenage boys.


Nevertheless, I could not quite get the image of an itchy, woollen Santa suit out of my head for the rest of the day, and became sympathetically Bah flipping Humbug itchy myself.

Think I need some more exercise.


Sunday, 4 December 2016

Bah Humbug - It's December again! 21 days to go!

Oh goodness, it's Sunday. I have the tedious task of adorning the tree with trinkets and baubles.

"Ah, but ..." the sneaky little Bah Humbug fairy whispers in my ear, "it's an austerity tree, isn't it?"

"What's that got to do with whether it snows or not this year?" I think I must have been having a conversation with myself.

"Well, it's hardly going to snow in Singapore, now, is it?" chided the Bah Humbug winged thing.

"It might do, if you go to look at the lights at Tanglin Mall." I suggested to myself. Then, I remembered, quite proudly, that in all the years I have lived in Singapore, I have never bothered to venture under the Christmas decorations at Tanglin Mall, with the hope of being soaked in sticky, foamy bubbles.

And now my boys are too old to want to associate themselves with anything like that.

Goodness me, what have I raised?

"Back to the point at hand," grumbled the Bah Humbug bug. Definitely a bug, only a bug would keep reminding me to rummage around in the bomb shelter, hope I didn't discover a dead cockroad, and carry up boxes of Christmas decorations that had amassed over the years.

"Now that's a point for austerity," I ventured.

The bug shook its head, "no one will buy second hand Christmas ornaments - don't kid yourself."

I resigned myself to selecting decorations that were befitting a short, austerity tree.


I think I managed to pull off a fairly decent feat of decorating - using up almost as many trinkets on the tree as a normal year.

Well, OK, not a normal year.

But a year when I have had a taller and wider tree (probably been eating too many mince pies).



So, Miss Nit-picky Bah Humbug Fairy, you can go and Bah-flipping-Humbug off.


Saturday, 3 December 2016

Bah Humbug! - It's December AGAIN - 22 more days to go

Twenty-two days to go. No choice. I have to put the Christmas tree up.

I have put it off long enough.

The box was small, and it felt rather lightweight. What had I ordered? I knew I should have ordered the 6ft tree. But then, it might have been really wide. The five foot one, from the box, looks like it might have been subject to some austerity cuts. I suppose I did rather propose a Scrooge-led Christmas.

Having erected the tree,  I stood back to admire it. My, was it short.

Nothing for it.

I would have to cheat. So out came the leather packing case. Out came a large slab of cardboard. Out came a Christmas-looking table cloth. Suddenly the tree was a foot taller. I had a 6ft Christmas tree for the price of a 5ft. Definitely in keeping with getting more for less.

Next the lights. I refuse to purchase new lights, unless of course all of them are liable to electrocute me. This year, only one set decided to embark on some mad random frenzy and take no notice of how many times I pushed the stupid button.

I wondered whether Scrooge would have thrown them out or bypassed the control box. Now that's an idea.

The tree being someone smaller than I had anticipated, only required two strands of fairy lights this year - definitely an austerity tree.

So, there we are - savings all round.

Smaller tree = less capital outlay
Smaller tree = fewer branches = less fairy lights = less opex.



I could go into business, offering Austerity Christmas Decorating services.

The only downside with that - I suspect, given that this involves austerity, I am not sure how many paying customers I would actually attract.

And so, once again, before I decorate the tree, I am reduced to a glum Bah, flipping, Humbug.




Tuesday, 1 December 2015

Bah Humbug - It's December AGAIN! 24 days of ...

And the Christmas Tree arrives today ...


I don't know why, but this year, I decided that my old fake tree was too huge, and perhaps, a little too disgusting after 10 years of "loving" use.

Well, I suppose it was more along the lines of my eldest son told me he didn't want a tree this year - or at least not a huge tree. But where is the fun in that?

The green, spiky, Christmas tree has absolutely nothing to do with being born in a barn. Which also got me thinking ... being born in a barn, is usually thrown at someone if they leave the door open.

That's got nothing to do with Christmas either. Unless, of course, you leave your door open wide, so everyone can join your party.

Last year, intrigued at my scant knowledge of the history of the Christmas tree, I did a little investigating, and 14 days before Christmas (yes, my tree was very late going up last year), I enlightened the world. Well, anyone who was so inclined to read my Christmas blog:

http://bahhumbugagain.blogspot.sg/2014/12/bah-humbug-its-december-again-14-days.html


Back to the tree, or rather this year's tree in question. I chose a Noble Fir. Since when was a tree part of the aristocracy? I suppose the tenuous link might be a family tree. 

There is another strange term, the family tree. It conjures up the image of a family sitting around a majestic tree, saying, "this is our tree, no one else's. This tree belongs to us." (to be uttered using an Eddie Izzard voice). But, what, if like Oliver Jeffers' moose, it doesn't want to belong to that family? 

I digress, again. 

It must be the idea of having to build a tree, hang the lights, half of which will probably electrocute you on the touch and then dust off the decorations.

BUT ...

This year, I am not building a tree. My noble fir comes from Far East Flora. Do we grow fir trees in the far east? Actually, we do, only most of them I have seen growing in gardens are leaning over, precariously.

Rather like the giant tree outside my mother's front door. The one, the cat climbed and got stuck up. It got sick, not the cat, the tree. So, this year, sadly, it was chopped down. Crash, a rather gaping hole left in the foliage around the front of the house. 

I digressed again as if I am skirting the issue of Christmas - avoiding the whole thing. But unless I become a hermit, I can't.

So, this afternoon, the men from Far East Flora, delivered a Noble Fir to my home. This tree was chosen for its dense foliage and a kink in the top branch. Because, after all, nothing in life is perfect, most of all Christmas.




Thursday, 11 December 2014

Bah Humbug. It's December again - 14 days until Christmas

Bah Humbug, it's 11th December. It's Thursday and now I am half way through another week and only 14 days to go.

I've just realised that I brought a box of Christmas decorations up from the basement and left them sitting behind the piano. Now that is clever, or rather absent minded of me. 

I now have the conundrum of whether to unpack them and decorate the tree, which after all will only be decorated for another couple of weeks, or just put them away. I don't even remember what is in that box, other than little glass trinkets. Little glass trinkets that the cat will probably play with. Maybe I'll just put the box away.

Which raises the question of why on earth do we cut down evergreen fir trees, and of a particular type, we tend to get Noble Firs here in Singapore while in the US they like the Scots Pine, which always makes me think of men in kilts moaning that they've been forgotten at Christmas.

I digress.

If you are not in to chopping down forests, even if they are grown for chopping down, then you will have invested in a recyclable Christmas tree - in other words, a fake one. One that you take down each year, tape up with tie-wraps and stick in a cupboard to gather dust for the next 11 months of the year. But it does save money and trees and necessitates a certain amount of exercise and exertion to put it together and stand it up. Mine weighs a ton.

I digressed again from the point, why do we decorate fir/pine trees at Christmas?

Johansen_Viggo_-_Radosne_Boże_Narodzenie.jpg

The ritual, for that is really what it is, of decorating the Christmas tree, is a family occasion, when everyone helps and gets into the Christmas spirit. Well that is how it used to be; now it is just me, as my boys feel too grown up for this.

I decided to look into this, and here is my potted - like the tree - summary of where it all came from. I've included some links at the end for anyone who really is interested ;)

Legend has it that St Boniface travelled from Devon in 7th Century to the area of what is now Northern Germany to convert the pagan tribes to Christianity. He is said to have used the triangular shape of the fir tree to explain the Holy Trinity.

Whether that is true or not, many northern Europeans would hang pine trees upside down in and around their homes – (they do make things smell nice when it is stuffy at Christmas). Romans used to decorate their doors with wreaths and arrangements made from greenery to signify a celebration. It was also believed that they kept out evil spirits and witches.

Trees began to be decorated at Christmas fairs held in sixteenth century, to attract people to merchant’s stalls. The merchants hung gifts and food and all sorts on their trees. Rather like the shop windows of today and the scenes outside the shopping malls in Singapore, the trees became more and more elaborate as merchants became more competitive.

It was Martin Luther, the Protestant reformer who first decorated trees with candles to capture the scene of the stars in the sky at Christmas.

The Christmas tree eventually became popular in Great Britain during the reign of Queen Victoria. She used to have one in her room as a child each Christmas. She decorated her tree with candles and was sketched along side it with Prince Albert and their children.

The one downside with putting candles on trees is that you are mixing wood and flames, which equal fire. 

Some insurance companies in the US wanted the government to pass a law banning candles on trees. A prime example of Bah Humbug! In 1895 and American Ralph Morris invented the electric Christmas lights. Which sort of put stop to the insurance companies spoiling Christmas!



That covers the lights, but what about the other decorations and trinkets we put on the tree?

Many years ago, people believed that when a tree lost its leaves outside that their spirits would leave them and then the leaves would never grow again. So, people dressed up the trees in brightly coloured strips of cloth to make sure that the spirits stayed with the trees.

When people began to bring trees inside at Christmas, they started decorating them with sweets and fruit and toys and beads and even tinsel. And the rest is history.

Which shows that traditions come from somewhere, often intriguing and varied and that we should always try to capture the original essence of why we celebrate certain festivals.


That reminds me, I still never got down to the bottom of why we give gifts at Christmas.


That will have to be for another day.

BAH HUMBUG.











Friday, 5 December 2014

Bah Humbug. It's December again - 20 days until Christmas

Bah Humbug, it's 5th December, and this year a Friday. 

I haven't sent out the Christmas cards - still - actually I haven't even written them, but then again no one seems to bother these days. A sad tradition lost. 

Old Christmas cards were particularly useful - you could recycle them as gift tags, props for an uneven desk leg or chair, folded up they make excellent door stops, even drink coasters. 

Maybe I should write a book on the revival of the recyclable Christmas card? 

20 days to go? Did I mention that already?

I haven't even sorted out Christmas gifts. Then there's food and who to invite.

As I start my morning in a ponder, I look up and see what Santa must see in quadruple or however many reindeer pull his sleigh, a fluffy reindeer butt.

The mere sight of it, really just is not quite right. No wonder Santa sings out, 'Ho, ho, ho!'





I wonder if they painted a butt on the back of the Virgin Traindeer?


BAH HUMBUG

Wednesday, 3 December 2014

Bah Humbug - It's December again - 22 Days to Christmas

Bah Humbug, it's 3rd December, a Wednesday, so we've hit mid-week.

Decided to hang a few more decorations - like I said, do it in phases. Shame I can't take it down in phases - such a nuisance this traditional 12 days of Christmas thing. So ingrained in my psyche now that the mere thought of having my tree up and decorated after Twelfth Night fills me with fear and dread of misfortune. 

That reminds, me, Twelfth Night, Shakespeare, I have a lesson to prepare.

Back to the tree.

It was while I was rearranging the decorations that I found them. You never believe that Toy Story rubbish, but I swear, I took a double take at these three. This was no accident caused by me decorating a tree with a migraine.

Those decorations are definitely up to something. Flirtatious times.




I'm not sure what that fairy sees in a grubby skinny snowman who lost his leg last year and an overly cheery jester.

Who told him to be happy?


BAH HUMBUG

Monday, 1 December 2014

Bah Humbug - It's December again - 24 Days to Christmas

Bah Humbug, it's 1st December. Funny how this year again, I've got headache, just when I need to put up the Christmas tree.

Once more, in respect of tradition, I dragged the tree out of the garage cupboard and shook off the dust and whatever else had attached itself. That was yesterday. Maybe that's why I have a headache?

The cat was rather intrigued. But then again he'd never seen anything like it before. 

Nor had he tasted green stuff like it before. 

Quick removal of feline from synthetic tree bits, or should that be removal of synthetic tree bits from feline?

Almost deja vu - the came the joy of lights - or rather frustration. 

Without fail, manufacturers have some sort of fail device on fairy lights that ceases operation after so many goes. Not to mention the set that just won't stop reverting to the haywire randomness of every setting.

Decorations will probably have to happen in phases.

BAH HUMBUG




Wednesday, 25 December 2013

No More Days to Christmas - Bah Humbug

Bah Humbug, it's 25th December - that means it really is Christmas Day. It also means it is the FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS.

Yes, Christmas Day is the first day of the 12 days of Christmas that lead up to Epiphany. Everything leading up to Christmas was ADVENT - hello! That's why we have advent calendars, although, most parents and children seem to have forgotten what they are really for and just want the chocolate and unrelated picture inside.

If you go back to my earlier post on buying reduce-priced advent calendars you'll know what I mean! The twenty-first day before Christmas

"So this is Christmas," to coin a phrase from John Lennon. And while war is not over, sadly, there was also another war going on in my poor head - sleep and risk forgetting or just get up and do it now?

The good job was that Santa-Mum had an inbuilt - gosh I nearly forgot - alarm clock. It woke me up at 2am so that I did not leave the big gift in the store-room! 




Now I positively, absolutely, ridiculously need to get some more sleep. I look more like Halloween than Christmas ;)


It's only 7 o'clock, 


please, please go back to sleep. 
I just want one more hour, 
They're gifts, go have a peep,
I get up very early
On any other day,
I know I have to cook 
The lunch and stuff today,
But one more little hour,
And then I'll have my shower.
Whoops, it's the turkey, not the day you stuff 


Bah Humbug - I've been tricked of my sleep - which reminds me, mint humbugs (which incidentally, have nothing to do with the real meaning of humbug), are the most disgusting sweet ever and although it pains me that their sales are in decline, I am not pining. - Ha, ha, pining, pine tree - ah never mind, Bah Humbug.

And for those of you fed up with turkey, sausages, hams and whatever else you stuffed your faces with, now for:


THE 12 VEG OF CHRISTMAS


The first veg of Christmas, my true love sent to me,
A parsnip in a pear tree.

Saturday, 14 December 2013

The Tweflth Day Before Christmas - Bah Humbug

A trip to Vivo City, strange cavernous shopping mall that booms and echoes and causes total sensory overload. A place to get lost in - yes I got sort of lost, but found a shop selling chocolates, which was not what I was looking for. In fact, the shop I went to find had - closed down. 

Bah Humbug or what?

So, I battled my way around Ikea instead. It was swimming with people not really shopping, just milling around, more shoaling than schooling in fish-like circles.

There's a thought: a tongue twister: 


A Singapore Shopping Centre, Swimming with Shoaling Shoppers

Shoaling fish move around independently but together in a connected manner, where as schooling fish, move in a co-ordinated manner.

Shoaling fish forage for food. Schooling fish move in a tighter formation and use this as a means of protecting themselves against giant or other predators, unless of course it's a trawler net.


Rather informative little video I found about this:



BAH HUMBUG

Well, I ran out of 12 days of Christmas because the 12 days start from Christmas Day, not from 1st December. I knew that anyway, so I suppose veggies might be a good idea instead? I'll wait until Christmas to post those.....



Note to self, count 12 days after Christmas Day and mark it down to dismantle the Christmas tree. Goodness, dismantling a tree? In the efforts to be eco-friendly, we now dismantle trees rather than chop them up and put them on the fire.




Friday, 13 December 2013

The Thirteenth Day Before Christmas - Bah Humbug

Bah Humbug, it's 12th December. Only 13 more days to go and I am not feeling very Christmasy at all. I want to postpone it. Why can't we put it off for a couple of weeks? I have the flu and a rather runny nose. I've already quoted Spike Milligan on noses, and written about tissues and posies.

Grumpy day today. I work up too early this morning with a runny nose (thank you Spike) and a fever. So, I padded downstairs. There was a strange eerie silence as the lights twinkled on the Christmas tree. I was half expecting to find a cat at the bottom of the stairs moaning for food, but they were both fast asleep, curled up like misshapen balls of fluff. I had to turn the light on though as I don't like going downstairs at night incase one of them has decided to bring in a Fukushima'd cockroach. I found one under the kitchen mat the other evening - screech ensued. Reminds me of long legged spiders that used to come in from the trees where I lived in England.

Fever is the body's response to an infection, it can be bacterial or viral. It is thought that an elevated temperature has something to do with boosting the body's immune response. Although this is debatable depending upon the type and degree of fever.

There is a maxim:

Feed a cold, Starve a fever.


According to an article in the New Scientist, and a recent BBC World feature, this might have some substance.


Dutch scientists have found that eating a meal boosts the type of immune response that destroys the viruses responsible for colds, while fasting stimulates the response that tackles the bacterial infections responsible for most fevers.


Kissing passes on disease, no wonder Peggy has a fever!

BAH HUMBUG

I wonder if Peggy had 12 drummers drumming for her on that song?



Sunday, 8 December 2013

The Seventeenth Day Before Christmas - Bah Humbug

Bah Humbug, it's 8th December. The start of the second week of Advent, seven pieces of chocolate have been consumed, with little regard for what was under them. Mind you, I don't think that the original point of Advent Calendars was to include the Transformers.

Bit dazey today. By that I mean I could not wake up. Better put a few more decorations on the tree and contemplate it while I munch on a mince pie.




BAH HUMBUG

I wonder what the eight maids a-milking are up to? After all it is Sunday.

Reminds me, I need to go and buy some milk, I don't want one of those Monday morning adventures like dad in Fortunately The Milk.

Thursday, 5 December 2013

The Twentieth Day Before Christmas - Bah Humbug

Bah Humbug, it's 5th December. That means I have less than 20 days to amass gifts, hid them, wrap them, place them under the tree or send them off to the other side of the world. 

Think I am a little disorganised. And I still have to finish painting, but I am distracted by rotten eggs and a boy called Mitchell Muffin.

Think I shall go and stare at the tree for a while and think.




BAH HUMBUG

I wonder where the five gold rings are? 

With the fall in the price of gold, they should be a little less harsh on the wallet this year.



Tuesday, 3 December 2013

The Twenty Second Day Before Christmas - Bah Humbug

Bah Humbug, it's 3rd December. Well at least it's not Monday anymore and the rain has sort of stopped for the moment.

Hung out a few more decorations on the tree. Well, poor tree, I couldn't leave it looking sparse. I did notice though that viewed from a certain angle, because I squashed it against the piano, it looks pregnant.

Wonder whether there will be a forest of trees on Christmas Day morning?

BAH HUMBUG



And where are the French Hens?

Probably laying eggs in time for the day after Boxing Day, which is when they should be around as we are in Advent, not the 12 days. But who cares? 

Monday, 2 December 2013

The Twenty Fourth Day Before Christmas - Bah Humbug

Bah Humbug, it's 1st December, I've a headache and need to put up the Christmas tree.

Dragged it out of the garage cupboard, shook off the dust and whatever else had attached itself - fortunately no Fukushima's roaches.

Then came the joy of light - or rather frustration that there are no such things are controls for fairy lights, and there will always be two boxes that just don't work from last year. A wicked ploy by manufacturers to ensure a constant purchase pattern.

BAH HUMBUG



And where is the partridge in the pear tree?

Looks like we'll be eating roast turkey at this rate.