Bah Humbug - It's December again! 20 days to go!

Monday, 5th December - Austerity Star Date - Go to Ikea for some Scandinavian therapy.

If the truth be known, I was beginning to find myself feeling a little nostalgic for those Christmases when the house was filled with decorations and lights, and the fat feathered fairy that sat on top of the tiny fake tree that my mother liked to place on the table in the hallway. My face used to flush tomato-red when I caught sight of her bare butt. The feathers were not very efficient at covering her modesty.

On the spur of the moment, I filled a water bottle, picked up my car keys and took my life in my hands - I was going to that winter wonderland of flat-packed furniture, Ikea.

I was not sure quite what for, though. Gosh, maybe I was becoming engulfed by the consumerism that I was so desperately attempting to humbug?

After speeding through the meandering walkways of the store, which is obviously trying to make you buy more, by packing more into a smaller space. I whirl-winded along the woodland paths that entice unsuspecting customers to the gingerbread house. I found some solar energy lights - that'll save the planet, and a set of tree lights that was one-sixth the price of lights I had seen in Tanglin Mall. More about The Great Christmas Fairy Light Rip Off in a future blog ...

Then I found what I was looking for - white willow sticks. Perfect for my pagan tree corner. Now all I needed were some tiny lights, and some Nordic Christmas baubles, and I would have an alternative tree - the Alt-Christmas Tree - with no needle shredding. I had the have an alternative tree, after all, this is a Christmas of trends, started with my austerity tree.

Tiny, almost inconspicuously wired, battery operated fairy lights were the answer, which proved their novelty by turning themselves off after a certain length of time. I reckon they gave up when no one was watching. Well, at least that saves on the battery purchase.



With my purchases in hand, or in a couple of large reusable bags, I headed home to establish my Alt-Christmas corner, feeling rather Bah flipping Humbugly pleased with myself.

Bah Humbug - It's December again! 21 days to go!

Oh goodness, it's Sunday. I have the tedious task of adorning the tree with trinkets and baubles.

"Ah, but ..." the sneaky little Bah Humbug fairy whispers in my ear, "it's an austerity tree, isn't it?"

"What's that got to do with whether it snows or not this year?" I think I must have been having a conversation with myself.

"Well, it's hardly going to snow in Singapore, now, is it?" chided the Bah Humbug winged thing.

"It might do, if you go to look at the lights at Tanglin Mall." I suggested to myself. Then, I remembered, quite proudly, that in all the years I have lived in Singapore, I have never bothered to venture under the Christmas decorations at Tanglin Mall, with the hope of being soaked in sticky, foamy bubbles.

And now my boys are too old to want to associate themselves with anything like that.

Goodness me, what have I raised?

"Back to the point at hand," grumbled the Bah Humbug bug. Definitely a bug, only a bug would keep reminding me to rummage around in the bomb shelter, hope I didn't discover a dead cockroad, and carry up boxes of Christmas decorations that had amassed over the years.

"Now that's a point for austerity," I ventured.

The bug shook its head, "no one will buy second hand Christmas ornaments - don't kid yourself."

I resigned myself to selecting decorations that were befitting a short, austerity tree.


I think I managed to pull off a fairly decent feat of decorating - using up almost as many trinkets on the tree as a normal year.

Well, OK, not a normal year.

But a year when I have had a taller and wider tree (probably been eating too many mince pies).



So, Miss Nit-picky Bah Humbug Fairy, you can go and Bah-flipping-Humbug off.

Bah Humbug - It's December again! 22 Days to go!

Headless Snowmen

We've all heard of the headless chicken. A saying that is frequently assigned to those who run around with no real purpose or idea of their purpose. 

The concept of a headless chicken living without a head, was highlighted in September this year. BBC Magazine carried an article about a headless chicken that lived for 18 months. 

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-34198390

All seems rather contrived, but I suppose, if, like the farmer and his wife, you take care of and feed the headless creature, then, with luck, it may live a full life.

And, so, with this tenuous link - you will find a fair number of tenuous links this year, my theme - it leads us to headless snowmen.

Anything headless conjures up horror films, headless horsemen, zombies and the rest. But this is Christmas, not Halloween (although, if you like Halloween stories, you could always head over to Etsy or Amazonhttps://www.etsy.com/sg-en/listing/163271113/mayan-cocoa-a-halloween-tale-gruesome?ref=shop_home_active_17 and purchase Mayan Cocoa).

Sadly, this year, I have to announce the demise of one of my tree snowmen, through decapitation. 

He does look as if he was trying to stop whoever did it. Or maybe he was trying to pat someone on the head. Whatever, he is headless. And, unlike the chicken, definitely not moving.

I am going to blame the cat ... he keeps removing the decorations and batting them around the floor, like he's Lionel Messi. 

He then looks at me as if he has the right. 

I shall get him back, with a Christmas hat or something ...