Bah Humbug - It's December again! I've run out of days, and time to write

Oh Bah Humbug. It's Christmas Eve - only just.

Now I've run out of days and time. Tomorrow will be upon us rather soon. Too soon for my liking. And I have not written a Christmassy rhyme.

I have defrosted the turkey, and thought about cooking tomorrow. And that perhaps I might have to take a nap after lunch as eating turkey makes you sleepy.

Which reminds me, Google Translate - you really are quite something when you translate Turkey as Les pays de Dinde. I am still not quite sure what to make of that.

Back to the impending arrival of Christmas Day, which as I write this has already happened in New Zealand. There are photos to prove that Santa has been there already.

It's been raining heavily here, so I hope he has wet-weather tyres and an effective set of anti-lock brakes on his sleigh.

Meanwhile, Santa's elves have finished wrapping the gifts, so I had to take a photo of the tree, with gifts sitting around it.

It made the tree look less ...

well ...

less austere, and more decadent.

Amazing what a pile of Christmas wrapped empty cardboard boxes can do for a tree.

And so, dinner out of the way, we became Scandinavian.

In a time honoured tradition, that involves opening gifts early, just in case the Vikings turn up, we all opened a gift, or two before midnight. It takes the edge of having to wait until the morning.

Some Lego, a t-shirt emblazoned with sarcasm, a book of Spanish curses, a book about Artificial Intelligence, which made me wonder whether the tree had any feelings, and, a gift, I was not allowed to leave until morning - Dr Marten's boots.

I tried them on.

I'd never had Dr Marten's boots before.

Now I felt young.

And they so go with the pink shorts I am wearing.

I was tempted to go to sleep in them, as they are rather comfortable ... it reminded me of the first pair of trainers that the boys' step dad bought our youngest son. He wore them to bed. They were special.

I thought about wearing my boots to bed again. And then the cat jumped in the Doc Marten's shoe box.

Bah Humbug, I shall have to write something more Christmassy and pudding-like tomorrow.

Bah Humbug - It's December again! 4 days to go!

Bah Humbug. 



And, Bah Humbug again. 

Now there are only four more days. I have no oven, I am sure I have forgotten a million and one Christmas cards. 

But then again, that presupposes I have a million and one friends. 



Thankfully, I don't.



Which reminds me of Stonehenge and that today is the Winter Solstice.



Why on earth do we have solstices? There's one in the summer too. It is marked as the shortest day of the year, the start of Winter - although meteorologically, the start of winter is 1st December - along with Advent and the start of me and my Bah Humbugging. 




The solstice is not the actual day, as many would believe, but the specific moment when the sun is over the Tropic of Capricorn. It is the moment when the sun stands still. Well, it seems to, anyway. The Romans thought the sun had stopped, and called it solstitium. 




There's a piece of information to wow your guests with at the dinner table.



The Chinese call 21st December, Dōngzhì. They consume copious amounts of glutinous rice balls, so I am told. I can't blame them, if I was that cold, I'd want to eat copious amounts of glutinous rice balls.



But today, December 21st is not the earliest sunset of the year - that happened a couple of weeks ago. 

Nor is it the coldest day of the year. 

Gosh, if it is supposed to be the coldest day of the year - the rest of the year is going to be boiling hot. 

Even the cat hid behind the plant pots today.




And what has Stonehenge got to do with it all? What has Stonehenge got to do with Christmas for that matter?




As all the news is filled with Druids at Stonehenge, here's a photo I snapped earlier - devoid of Druids.



Bah Humbug, it was too darned hot 1 degree north today.




Some interesting sites with more information about the Solstice:

The winter solstice

Ten things about the solstice

Dongzhi

The Winter Solstice  (there's a great infographic in this article explaining about the equinoxes)

Stonehenge and the Winter Solstice  (in pictures)

Bah Humbug - It's December again! 11 days to go!

Wednesday 14th December.

On the subject of fake trees - I discovered there is quite an internet industry, providing the latest and greatest advice on how to achieve the perfect fake tree.

How has Christmas become so commercialised that now there are websites dedicated to helping you find your perfect fake tree?

Can no one think for themselves anymore? Why would I want my tree to look like anyone else's, or for that matter, like it came out of a magazine. My tree and the manner in which I choose to decorate it, belongs to me ... and the cats ...


Bah Humbug.



A few scary sites:

How to choose fake trees

Christmas Tree Buyers Guide

Select the right Christmas tree size

Bah Humbug! It's December, again - 3 more days to go

A Christmas Cracker Joke

What is fluffy, has four paws, a tail, whiskers and is embroiled in politics?

A Mayoranchian Catidate for the city of Barnaul in Russia

(note the cringe-worthy, newly created words of mayorial and manchurian and cat and candidate).

There is more about Barsik the cat on the BBC, who actually interviewed him! If you have ever tried interviewing a cat, or getting one to star in a film, you will know that the cat has absolutely no interest in co-operating. In fact, cats were made to disobey. That might make for an interesting term of office for the city of Barnaul if the cat is elected. 

The purpose of electing a cat is to remove the inevitable corruption that seems to surround so many political offices - maybe it always did, and our media and social media simply highlight it so that more of us are aware, or turn a blind eye.

The question does arise, however, as to whether one might be able to bribe a cat? I have noticed that whoever feeds the cats for a couple of days finds themselves in a position of great favour with the cat. So, weighing the evidence, one might deduce that a cat could be bribed. Although what favours it might bestow in exchange, might be rather dubious. Land would be out of the question, cats are too territorial. Maybe a juicy mouse or rat, after the cat has tired of it, but then cats normally bring you mice or rats as gifts. Or maybe you just might be lucky and the cat might leave you a fur ball to step on as you leap out of bed in the morning.

Talking of mornings, this morning, my cat, who narrowly resembles Barsik, perhaps he is his cousin, in white socks and gloves, woke me up with the farmers. Sadly, there are no cows close by to milk, the chickens that live up the road, have gone silent, maybe they were Sunday lunch, and in spite of valiant attempts at growing herbs and tomatoes in my tropical garden, I have failed. So, not really what I want - to be woken with the farmers. 

The cat, Titus as he has aptly called himself, believes that he rules the roost, and just about everything else, and anyone else. No wonder he has earned the name: Titus the cheeky cat.

So, after getting me up at an ungodly hour, when the air was so dark outside, not even the insects were making a noise, he then sat on the wall and sneered at me as I sipped an espresso, trying desperately to wake up.

This saga of cats has nothing to do with Christmas, other than the fact that I shall not be purchasing gifts for the cats this year.

Not very cute at all.

DOWN THE CHIMNEY ©

Another boot, as black as soot,

Had fallen from his foot,

Followed next by Santa Claus,

And my brother’s loud applause.

‘Oh, Mum, oh, Dad, he’s really here!’

I said with Christmas cheer.

‘Just, look his sack’s stuffed full of stuff,’

Then Dad said, ‘That’s enough!’

You can read/watch more about Barsik the cat here:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p03cqssh

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-35110859

Bah Humbug! It's December, again - 7 more days to go

One week to go ...

The home straight as some might say. But we are not in a race. Or are we? Surely, not? I feel like I am under starter's orders. 

And, they're off. 

It's the turkey in the middle, closely followed by the roast potatoes with rosemary, and the little sausages making a dash for it.

Fast coming up on the left flank are the carrots and are those turnips or parsnips? hard to tell, they're moving so fast. 

Oh, my gosh, but look, the turkey is stumbling over the gravy boat. Oh my goodness, the turkey is stuck, it's wallowing in the bread sauce.

Is it all over?

The mince pies are going to pieces over a glass of milk.

It looks like it's all over.

And, what's that? Just look at those peas, rolling around in the mint. Well, have you every seen anything like it?

The Brussels sprouts seem to be stinking everyone out, which means the Christmas lunch is all but stuffed. 

Definitely, all over.

But, no. Wait.

No, it's a rank outsider, the Christmas pudding and brandy sauce is coming fast into view and there we have it. Christmas pudding, ridden by brandy sauce is the clear winner for the day.

Whatever didn't run, will be for dinner tonight.


Last day of school for the year - which is a relief as it means I might just get another 30 minutes in bed in the morning, before the cats decide to wake me.

So, for teachers and pupils everywhere, I dedicate this little poster of Christmas nouns that I have used this month to bring a Christmas theme to learning grammar.

(© Christmas Nouns, Sarah Froggatt 2015)

If you would like a properly scanned in copy in pdf, then you will need to contact me ...

And, as I cannot be bothered to write anything else today, as I have too much reading to do ...  here's the next installment of down the chimney ...

DOWN THE CHIMNEY ©

 My brother went to fetch a stool,

To reach the poor old fool,

While mother clapped her hands with glee

And went to make some tea.

Dad tugged and tugged at Santa’s cape,

To help old Nick escape,

But the cloth just ripped off in his hand,

Not really quite as planned.

Oh, goodness, Bah Humbug and double Bah Humbug.

Bah Humbug - It's December again! 22 Days to go!

Headless Snowmen

We've all heard of the headless chicken. A saying that is frequently assigned to those who run around with no real purpose or idea of their purpose. 

The concept of a headless chicken living without a head, was highlighted in September this year. BBC Magazine carried an article about a headless chicken that lived for 18 months. 

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-34198390

All seems rather contrived, but I suppose, if, like the farmer and his wife, you take care of and feed the headless creature, then, with luck, it may live a full life.

And, so, with this tenuous link - you will find a fair number of tenuous links this year, my theme - it leads us to headless snowmen.

Anything headless conjures up horror films, headless horsemen, zombies and the rest. But this is Christmas, not Halloween (although, if you like Halloween stories, you could always head over to Etsy or Amazonhttps://www.etsy.com/sg-en/listing/163271113/mayan-cocoa-a-halloween-tale-gruesome?ref=shop_home_active_17 and purchase Mayan Cocoa).

Sadly, this year, I have to announce the demise of one of my tree snowmen, through decapitation. 

He does look as if he was trying to stop whoever did it. Or maybe he was trying to pat someone on the head. Whatever, he is headless. And, unlike the chicken, definitely not moving.

I am going to blame the cat ... he keeps removing the decorations and batting them around the floor, like he's Lionel Messi. 

He then looks at me as if he has the right. 

I shall get him back, with a Christmas hat or something ...

BAH HUMBUG - It's December again! And today is Christmas Day!

Six Forty 2014

Get up! It’s time and Santa’s been,

Bounced boys with voices oh so keen.

Just look at that beneath the tree,

I wonder if they’re all for me?

I slipped downstairs to cook the lunch,

They might get hungry was my hunch.

Buried under paper mountains,

Sting and ribbons flew like fountains.

How did you know I wanted that?

Lego, books, and toys for the cat.

This day’s completely crammed with fun,

I sigh as it’s only just begun.

The veg are prepped and oven’s on,

We’re eating turkey not roast swan,

There’s pudding, cake and mince pies too,

I think that’s quite a lot to chew.

And when at last we’ve eaten all,

On to the sofa we’ll all sprawl.

Before we start our exercise,

I might just close my tired eyes.

Sarah Froggatt © 2014

Even the cat decided that he should be sitting at the table:

Bah Humbug. It's December again - only a week to go!!

Bah Humbug, it's 18th December .

Only a week left - that isn't even 7 days because everyone has a half day on Christmas Eve.

I need to order the turkey - Oh no! I haven't done that yet.

Nothing for it, I have to forego writing today and get out into the melee of Christmas shoppers.

I suppose there is only so much you can do on line, and as I proved last week, that is not very much.

Today I leave you with a cat in a bag - certainly not let out yet. Although he does have this tendency to venture next door and play with the dog. I think he has an identity crisis going on.

Nevertheless, he appears to be one member of my household who knows what he wants for Christmas.


This is the cat the likes to play with water and stick his head under the tap. I think he is hoping that I have purchased a nicely cat-scented gift for him to use in the shower.

I haven't the heart to tell him that The Body Shop is for humans, not cats, but the red bag makes a great adventure toy and it makes him think that it is Christmas every day. Rather like fresh chicken for dinner.

The Christmas tree spat out some more gifts this evening, a fair number of which I hope will be a pleasant surprise.

Yet another reason to keep the cat in the bag, rather than out of the bag. Surprise Christmas gifts.

Good job I bought some more wrapping paper there might be a lot of bag-less cats running around

He's even put his white socks on.

BAH HUMBUG

My goodness Ikea looked like it had been eaten by locusts.

Bah Humbug - It's December again - 24 Days to Christmas

Bah Humbug, it's 1st December. Funny how this year again, I've got headache, just when I need to put up the Christmas tree.

Once more, in respect of tradition, I dragged the tree out of the garage cupboard and shook off the dust and whatever else had attached itself. That was yesterday. Maybe that's why I have a headache?

The cat was rather intrigued. But then again he'd never seen anything like it before. 

Nor had he tasted green stuff like it before. 

Quick removal of feline from synthetic tree bits, or should that be removal of synthetic tree bits from feline?

Almost deja vu - the came the joy of lights - or rather frustration. 

Without fail, manufacturers have some sort of fail device on fairy lights that ceases operation after so many goes. Not to mention the set that just won't stop reverting to the haywire randomness of every setting.

Decorations will probably have to happen in phases.

BAH HUMBUG