Bah Humbug! It's December, again - 7 more days to go

One week to go ...

The home straight as some might say. But we are not in a race. Or are we? Surely, not? I feel like I am under starter's orders. 

And, they're off. 

It's the turkey in the middle, closely followed by the roast potatoes with rosemary, and the little sausages making a dash for it.

Fast coming up on the left flank are the carrots and are those turnips or parsnips? hard to tell, they're moving so fast. 

Oh, my gosh, but look, the turkey is stumbling over the gravy boat. Oh my goodness, the turkey is stuck, it's wallowing in the bread sauce.

Is it all over?

The mince pies are going to pieces over a glass of milk.

It looks like it's all over.

And, what's that? Just look at those peas, rolling around in the mint. Well, have you every seen anything like it?

The Brussels sprouts seem to be stinking everyone out, which means the Christmas lunch is all but stuffed. 

Definitely, all over.

But, no. Wait.

No, it's a rank outsider, the Christmas pudding and brandy sauce is coming fast into view and there we have it. Christmas pudding, ridden by brandy sauce is the clear winner for the day.

Whatever didn't run, will be for dinner tonight.


Last day of school for the year - which is a relief as it means I might just get another 30 minutes in bed in the morning, before the cats decide to wake me.

So, for teachers and pupils everywhere, I dedicate this little poster of Christmas nouns that I have used this month to bring a Christmas theme to learning grammar.

(© Christmas Nouns, Sarah Froggatt 2015)

If you would like a properly scanned in copy in pdf, then you will need to contact me ...

And, as I cannot be bothered to write anything else today, as I have too much reading to do ...  here's the next installment of down the chimney ...

DOWN THE CHIMNEY ©

 My brother went to fetch a stool,

To reach the poor old fool,

While mother clapped her hands with glee

And went to make some tea.

Dad tugged and tugged at Santa’s cape,

To help old Nick escape,

But the cloth just ripped off in his hand,

Not really quite as planned.

Oh, goodness, Bah Humbug and double Bah Humbug.

BAH HUMBUG - It's December again! And today is Christmas Day!

Six Forty 2014

Get up! It’s time and Santa’s been,

Bounced boys with voices oh so keen.

Just look at that beneath the tree,

I wonder if they’re all for me?

I slipped downstairs to cook the lunch,

They might get hungry was my hunch.

Buried under paper mountains,

Sting and ribbons flew like fountains.

How did you know I wanted that?

Lego, books, and toys for the cat.

This day’s completely crammed with fun,

I sigh as it’s only just begun.

The veg are prepped and oven’s on,

We’re eating turkey not roast swan,

There’s pudding, cake and mince pies too,

I think that’s quite a lot to chew.

And when at last we’ve eaten all,

On to the sofa we’ll all sprawl.

Before we start our exercise,

I might just close my tired eyes.

Sarah Froggatt © 2014

Even the cat decided that he should be sitting at the table:

BAH HUMBUG! It's December again - only 3 more days to go!

Bah Humbug. It's 22nd December and there are only 3 more days before I have to get up early and cook a massive lunch that will send everyone to sleep.

Vegetables to peel, vegetables to roast, a bird to roast, stuffing to make, gravy, and then the Christmas pudding and mince pies that don't have meat in them.

Precision organisation is required. What a bore!


So, in the true spirit of Bah Humbug, I have decided to outsource the cooking and pre-preparation - not necessarily the healthiest of options as I cannot control what goes into what, but nevertheless an easier option and cheaper than going to a restaurant.

Funny how most restaurants tend to get the Uber disease at this time of the year. Rather like those $99.99 cherries in the supermarket.

Frozen roast potatoes and sweet potatoes.  Who cares if they taste like cardboard?


Fresh parsnips that my helper calls white carrots, will need peeling and preparing. So be it.

Broccoli and carrots - these have to be fresh - frozen stuff is just mushy.

Stuffing - thank you Jamie Oliver.

Cranberry sauce - thank you Wilkin & Sons.

Turkey - no legs and wings, because no one eats then and I think the cats are quite fat enough this year. Roasted by the supermarket - thank you Cold Storage. All that will be needed is a whizz in the oven to warm it up on the day.

Gravy - easy, a few lightly sautéed shallots and some chicken stock.

No Christmas pudding as no one eats it apart from me, so maybe I shall make a rich chocolate cake tomorrow - not rich in the sense of having lots of money, but rich because it has copious amounts of dark chocolate melted in to it.

A sliver of smoked salmon, a morceau of pate de fois gras de canard, some cheeses and mini pizzas (thank you Waitrose, you allowed me to be lazy) for those who really do not want to eat turkey and vegetables.

Perhaps I may manage a lie in on Christmas Day?

Probably not.

BAH HUMBUG!

Bah Humbug. It's December again - only 6 days to Christmas!

Bah Humbug, it's 19th December.

Last day of the school term and only 6 days until Christmas. How can 19 days have just disappeared like that?

Good job I have been organised and written a check list.

Turkey - ordered - tick ✓

Ridiculous amounts of mince pies, stollen, mini Christmas pudding (as no one ever eats it apart from me!), chocolate biscuits - purchased, in the fridge - tick ✓

Vegetables - list compiled, and it does not include Brussels sprouts! - tick  ✓

Table cloth, napkins and decoration for the table - a semi-sort of tick ✓

Christmas gifts wrapped - tick - apart from the stray ones that suddenly turned up last night ✓

Signs and directions for Santa for leaving gifts - tick ✓

(Although it looks like the penguin is explaining that cook books with roasted birds on the front are not such a great idea)

Ah, last night, now I remember - we had Carol singers complete with Santa hats.

In all the years I have lived in Singapore this is only the third time anyone has visited me and how could we refuse when they were collecting for building a school in Kerala, India.

As my eldest son said as they finished, 'I wish the world was filled with more people like you.'

And they sang the bossy Christmas Carol!

We wish you a Merry Christmas

We wish you a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Glad tidings we bring for you and your kin,Glad tidings we bring for you and your kin,Glad tidings we bring for you and your kin,
We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

So, bring us some figgy pudding, So, bring us some figgy pudding

So, bring us some figgy pudding and bring it right here.

Glad tidings we bring for you and your kin,

Glad tidings we bring for you and your kin,

Glad tidings we bring for you and your kin,

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

And we won't go until we've got some, 

And we won't go until we've got some, 

And we won't go until we've got some, so bring some out here.

Glad tidings we bring for you and your kin,

Glad tidings we bring for you and your kin,

Glad tidings we bring for you and your kin,

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Maybe there are other people out there who like Christmas pudding like me?



BAH HUMBUG
Get singing Christmas Carols and make someone's day!

Bah Humbug. It's December again - 15 days to Christmas

Bah Humbug, it's 10th December. 

If it's 10th December, that means there are only 15 more days to go, or I suppose 14 before the eve of the day itself.

I still have a pile of Christmas cards I have not sent out as I ran out of stamps and I hate the post office at Christmas. Actually, I hate the post office most of the time. Anything that involves a queue to me seems entirely pointless and a waste of good time.

So instead I went out to have coffee with a friend. She needed some milk, and some mince pies, so I popped into the supermarket to buy some. Simple enough task.

Simple was the word. I popped to a fabulous bakery named Simply Bread. However, their kitchens are still under renovation, so they don't have any bread, or cakes, or in fact anything that has to be baked. Perhaps they should temporarily rename themselves to Simply.

I had not choice but to try the other bakery, that is not so good, but they did have mince pies. Until the woman in front of me purchased every single one. OK not every one, but all the traditional mince pies. 'You could have blueberry mince pies,' suggested the apathetic serving staff.

'Blueberry mince pies?'

'Blueberry mince pies?'

Is this some other Americanism that has crept into an age old tradition? since when did mince pies have blueberries in them?

I declined and resorted to the supermarket. I still had to purchase milk.

Joy to the world, or rather Boney M greeted me. Why is it that at the same time every year, we are subjected to Wizard, Boney M, Band Aid, McCartney and Wham as we stroll the even narrower aisles than usual because they've decided to build precarious castles of food on offer, that is probably still 20% more expensive than on a normal day?

As if the assault to my ears was not enough, everyone kept walking in my way or standing in the aisle in such a manner that it would be impossible to pass unless of course you were a large elephant and then you probably wouldn't care.

And then, and I feel a hyperbole coming, I had to wait a million years at the cashier because someone wanted to pay with gift tokens and someone else wanted to purchase a gift token and wanted an envelope for it.

All I wanted was a litre of semi-skimmed milk and six mince pies!

So a fifteen minute journey took me nearly an hour.

I rest my case, all that queueing, turned out to be a waste of my time because someone else was not being efficient with theirs.


To add icing to the Christmas cake, they were digging up the road outside my friend's house when I arrived.


I reckon it was all to do with the alignment of the stars, and that rather large one that will be settling down in 15 days time.

Meanwhile,  the cup of coffee from the french press was extremely welcome.


BAH HUMBUG

Why can't everyone go home and let me shop in peace?

Incidentally queueing can be spelt without the e but with the extra e is best, after all, what fun having a word with 5 consecutive vowels!

Bah Humbug. It's December again - 16 days to Christmas.

Bah Humbug, it's 9th December. 

I've just realised that my 3 week cut off point has been and gone and passed. Oh I hate Christmas. Only 16 more days to go and I am so behind, in spite of planning and more planning.

This time last year I was working on a book: Mitchell Muffin and The Rotten Eggs (it's on sale on my Etsy store or Amazon).

This year, I am working on the sequel, that go delayed because I decided to allow myself the distraction of writing and illustrating a couple of other books.

This is what distractions do. They delay.

Ergo Christmas is a distraction which is delaying me doing everything else that I should be getting on with.

Yesterday I got distracted by mince pies, and I still don't have any either homemade or from the shop. 

Today, distractions are in the form of Christmas gifts I have not yet purchased, in spite of my idea of sorting this all out last month. Yes, last month.

Why on earth do we give gifts at Christmas? Is it just some evil ploy by retailers to prop up their failing annual sales? Oh, no that's that silly American trend of Black Friday. I can never understand why Americans call it black. That always made me think it was dark and dangerous. I suppose it might be dangerous if you got into a fight over a cheap TV or trampled on.

I digressed.

Why do we give gifts at Christmas?

In America, perhaps as a back-lash to Black Friday and the over-commercialisation of absolutely everything, there is a movement to "cancel" Christmas. However, Fox News thinks that while this is a good idea on one level, maybe it needs to be about Christmas beginning at home. 

Maybe this year will see the real spirit of Christmas return, and I don't just mean those spirits from Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. 

Even the Arch Bishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby wrote in the UK Radio Times and Guardian yesterday that we don't need to spend a fortune on Christmas gifts, we need to remember what Christmas is about first and foremost. It is about bringing love into our currently rather loveless and selfish world and giving rather than receiving. It is about peace and harmony. There was a Christmas Day nearly 100 years ago when the fighting stopped across the trenches and soldiers walked out, put their differences behind them, played a game of football, shook hands, sang a carol and said goodnight.

Which is why my eldest son has suggested a budget of S$50 per gift per person. 

After all, it is the thought and gesture that count, not how large a hole that you have burnt in your pocket or wallet or whatever you carry your money in.

BAH HUMBUG

I'll make mince pies for everyone this Christmas.

Bah Humbug. It's December again - 17 Days until Christmas

Bah Humbug, it's 8th December. The start of the second week of Advent, the start of a working week, (and I can hardly open my eyes), seven pieces of chocolate have been consumed - and probably a lot more that had little to do with Advent calendars.

A whole week of Advent, and I have not eaten a mince pie yet. I did make pizza and pizza dough balls for dinner last night, but that doesn't count. That's an Italian tradition. Maybe I should make some pastry later on and finally open the jar of mincemeat that has been sitting in the cupboard?

Mincemeat with no meat. 

That always confused me when I was young. 

Mince pies. Mince pies denote pies made with mince, as in meat that has been put through one of those funny old contraptions with a funnel on the top and a handle that you turn so that the meat going in comes out in stringy munched up chunks. An early version of processed meat.

The mince pies today are not filled with meat. 

They were originally. 

Crusaders brought them back from the Middle East in 13th Century. Pies filled with chopped meat, fruit and spices. And that is how they were eaten for a long time at Christmas, normally containing 13 different ingredients to represent Christ and the 12 disciples.

As usual, we have the Victorians to blame with their strange eating habits for the sweet version, (they sort of invented jelly, but that isn't Christmassy so I shall not be writing about it here). They made the pies smaller and sweeter and the meat sort of disappeared. The ingredients were prepared months in advance (they planned things out, just like preparing the Christmas pudding), and stored it in jars, ready for the December pies. 

I'm not Victorian, well, at least I don't think I am, but I remember as a child waiting excitedly for the first mince pies of the season. Now you can buy mince meat and mince pies just about all year round, rather like Hot Cross Buns (that's another tradition that I could write about, but shall not as it has nothing to do with Christmas - that's Easter).

There are many stories about it being illegal to eat mince pies on Christmas Day. I don't think that's true as I have eaten many in my time. If it is, then I am probably living on borrowed time. Rather I think, we should make it illegal to throw away so many of these little treats that make a wonderful mid-morning snack with a cup of tea or an espresso. Unilever claimed in 2012 that 74 million pies are thrown away every year. That is a lot of landfill!

On that note, I shall leave you with a wonderful article that appeared yesterday in the British newspaper: The Independent, Sweet delight: A brief history of the mince pie

I suppose the Brits really do love their pies.

BAH HUMBUG

Now where is that jar of mince meat?

The Seventh Day Before Christmas - Bah Humbug

Bah Humbug, it's 18th December - that means I only have 7 days left of anticipation, or in my case, 7 days to wrap gifts and see if i can possibly find those last minute stocking fillers.

But before I do any of that, I have an unexpected English tuition lesson to give. So I have to stop being bah humbug for 90 minutes and focus on some grammar, conversation and story writing. It was a challenge as in spite of asking for the lesson, my cheey pupil decided to be tricksy and have several moments of "never regaining consciousness" when faced with vocabulary and comprehension work. 

Some coaxing and laughter later and the lesson was concluded. As I was out already I decided that I needed wrapping paper, mince pies and chocolates. So I also picked up a few other things that I did not really need and saw my purse loose weight. 

Note to self, there is a school concert tomorrow evening, better not forget.

I like mince pies, but not with meat. I remember my Mum had a jar of mincemeat and I would sneak a spoon of the uncooked stuff while we were making mince pies. I even managed to find a jar of it here in Singapore - with good intentions to bake my own. Whoops, haven't done that yet!

Bah Humbug, why are there always school concerts at the end of the year? And why are mince pies not filled with minced meat?

The Seventeenth Day Before Christmas - Bah Humbug

Bah Humbug, it's 8th December. The start of the second week of Advent, seven pieces of chocolate have been consumed, with little regard for what was under them. Mind you, I don't think that the original point of Advent Calendars was to include the Transformers.

Bit dazey today. By that I mean I could not wake up. Better put a few more decorations on the tree and contemplate it while I munch on a mince pie.

BAH HUMBUG

I wonder what the eight maids a-milking are up to? After all it is Sunday.

Reminds me, I need to go and buy some milk, I don't want one of those Monday morning adventures like dad in Fortunately The Milk.